Sunday, July 14, 2013

The Sparknotes to Nicolas Juarez's feelings on Trayvon Martin's murder.

    Like most of my peers I’m extremely troubled by the verdict in the George Zimmerman case last night. After hearing about the death of Trayvon Martin at the hands of George Zimmerman, I couldn’t stop turning over the scenario over and over in my head and after the news of Zimmerman’s innocence, I turned and turned some more. It’s hard to comb through all the factors that lead to seventeen year old Trayvon Martin’s death and what relevance any of them actually have.
    Here is what we know:
  • We know that The Retreat, the gated community Zimmerman lived in and Trayvon died in, reported eight burglaries, nine thefts (I don’t know the difference) in twelve months, creating an “atmosphere of fear.” 
  • We know George Zimmerman had a license to carry a firearm and was elected to neighborhood watch.
  • We also know that at age twenty-one Zimmerman assaulted a police officer and resisted arrest.
  • We know George Zimmerman made a 911 call at 7:09 PM, stated there was a suspicious character, lost sight of the character and ended the call at 7:15PM
  • We know Trayvon Martin was dead when officer Timothy Smith arrived at the scene at approximately 7:17 PM
  • We know Trayvon Martin had been suspended from school three times.
  • We know Trayvon had a history with marijuana.
  • We know Trayvon was visiting his father and soon-to-be-stepmother.
  • We know Trayvon was wearing a hoodie.
  • We know....
  • We know....
  • We know....

    Those are the “facts.” Probably not even the facts, but its what most of us are working with. What we don’t know is that these facts mean. When added all up does Zimmerman’s innocence make sense? Does the color of Trayvon’s skin mean that, at Gary Younge put it, “it’s open season on black boys?” How does this damage racial relations on a local, national, or global level? Some of my most brilliant peers had so many insightful theories and points to make, all of which did absolutely nothing to soothe my madness.
    I didn’t get much sleep. I went to bed too angry, wondering how there is no justice in our nation (or at least Florida). I kept thinking and thinking and getting angrier and angrier until I fell asleep in a pile of my own sweat. When I woke up I was angry anymore, but deeply saddened.

   

    Okay. Let’s play a infuriating game that will most likely make you stop reading right now if you didn’t stop after my first paragraph. That game is called “Let’s Say.”
    Let’s say Trayvon Martin had been the perfect student. A real goddamn role model. He was a straight A student, captain of the basketball team, and Secretary in ASB (it’s the 3rd highest position, not someone who answers phones). Let’s say his parents didn’t divorce when he was four. In his spare time he pursued little old ladies, and instead of shooting them he helped them across the street. Would Zimmerman been able to know all these things when Trayvon walked by wearing a hoodie at 7:12 PM in the pouring rain? Perhaps Trayvon always wore a hoodie when studying for AP Chemistry or applying to out of state schools (he kind of wants to get away from home, you know?), or usually he wore a smart looking blazer, it would mean jack shit to Zimmerman BECAUSE IT WAS FUCKING RAINING!!!!!! WEARING A HOODIE WITH THE HOOD UP WOULD BE SOMETHING YOU’D WEAR IN THE GODDAMN RAIN!
    Okay. Sorry. Back to the game.
    Let’s also ask ourselves if Trayvon Martin had been a caucasian male named Collin Halpern if Zimmerman would have still pursued? Would he have let the minor know he was simply an neighborhood patrol volunteer  with a license to carry a fire arm, by the way may I ask you what you’re doing? Would he have even called the police and gripe "these assholes, they always get away”?
    Let’s say “yes” to all of these questions. He would have pursued when he had been told “We don’t need you to do that.” Let’s say he would have engaged with Collin. And let’s even say he would have shot him should Collin have resisted him. Is Zimmerman still found innocent when we all feel he should be guilty? Are his reasons for suspecting Trayvon to be a potential threat just as valid for suspecting Collin to be that same exact threat? Maybe Collin isn’t wearing a hoodie, but a beige parka instead. And instead of walking head down with his hands in his pockets (IN THE FUCKING RAIN!) he’s gleefully skipping. Instead of getting Skittles he got a Baby Ruth.
    Okay......uhmmm.....yes....he would still be found innocent. If Trayvon Martin hadn’t been a seventeen year old black male wearing a hoodie going out into the rain on February 26th, 2012 for some Skittles, but instead been Collin Halpern, a seventeen year old caucasian male wearing a beige parka going out into the rain on February 26th, 2012 to get a Baby Ruth instead, Zimmerman would still be considered an innocent man and able to walk free. What if it were a Hispanic girl named Pamela.....okay, fuck it, we can do this all day. Let’s give Zimmerman, the state of Florida, and the juror’s the benefit of the doubt because we’re goddamn insane people. It had nothing to do with race or gender or anything other than a suspicious person lurking in a gated community.
    Collin Halpern would still be dead. Trayvon Martin is still dead.
    This is the part I have difficulty putting into words....it isn’t a game where we can swap out all the contributing factors as we see fit. It’s real life. When it’s all boiled down to it’s purest, simplest form: a young man was shot to death by another man with a gun. His friends won’t be able to chew the fat with him anymore, or lose touch and call him up years later to “see how he’s doing.” His parents won’t see him go to college or get married or have children or watch him become the man they one day dreamed he would be. Trayvon Martin is now a symbolic figure to many people, a source of strength and inspiration to change how we view color and gun laws....but before he was any of those things he was just a kid.
    In the wake of the trial Zimmerman’s guilt went to being the only thing I cared about to one of my last concerns. Anyone can tell you that one’s character can’t be judged in the blink of an eye. That same person can also tell you that if your finger is on a trigger a life can be ended in that very same blink. Trayvon could have been stealing a blu-ray player from a seven year-old orphan with cancer, Zimmerman had no right to shoot him. Zimmerman has no right to shoot anyone.



I’m sorry if I misled any of you into thinking I have an actual point I’d like to get across. I don’t. If you held a gun to my head my point would be guns are scary as fuck and lives are fragile as, well, fuck too, I guess. I just know that last night I had a fantasy of being one of the jurors who sent Zimmerman to the Phantom Zone (Superman exists in this fantasy) for 30 million years and calling it justice. And when I woke up this morning I didn’t want to dream of a world where Zimmerman gunned down Trayvon Martin in cold blood and was found guilty by a jury of his peers, I wanted to dream of a world where Zimmerman couldn’t have done such a thing in the first place.

Monday, July 5, 2010

The Suburbs

"'Month of May' isn't half as dumb, or half as short, or half as light as 90% of the songs on The White Album. I mean I think we're nowhere near as diverse as The Beatles, yet. I mean, I wouldn't mind throwing on a couple 'Honey Pie's."

-Will Butler

Saturday, June 5, 2010

old journal

I started flipping through an old journal and found this:

"I woke up and waited for my phone's alarm to ring, but it never did. I grabbed my cell phone and saw I missed four text messages from a girl I didn't like, then that my alarm wasn't set and I was going to be late to class."

Funny and sad. I'm trying to remember who the girl was and what class I was late for.

Monday, May 31, 2010

All my friends in magazines got addicted to the word 'leave'

Soundtrack/Playlist

1). Sweetest Kill - Broken Social Scene
2). Handsome Furs Hate This City - Handsome Furs
3). It Isn't Nothing - Head of Mistakes
4). Turquoise Hexagon Sun - Boards Of Canada
5). Her Disappearing Theme - Broken Social Scene
6). Night On the Sun - Modest Mouse
7). Feather Little Dragon
8). A Tender History In Rust - Do Make Say Think
9). Nantes - Beirut
10). Ambulance For The Ambience - Broken Social Scene
11). The Open Hand Avows - Daedelus
12). Shampoo Suicide - Broken Social Scene
13). Thunder Love - Little Dragon
14). Dearly Departed - DeVotchKa
15). All My Friends - Broken Social Scene
16). Real Love - Beach House

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Owen

Owen

New script. It feels really nice to work on a new script, having just finished my first draft of a feature after two semesters of working on it. I know I have to come back and do rewrites, but it's nice to move onto something else, just for a bit.

I got a new notebook, which is exciting. I can write down random lines of dialogue or short stories, films, songs, poems that inspire me. Example:

What We Talk About When We Talk About Love by Raymond Carver
parts of The Crossing by Cormac McCarthy, mainly the part where they find the girl
Quiet City by Aaron Katz, but not too much
Pierrot Le Fou by Jean-Luc Goddard (I need to get this back from Kyle)
Love Poem by Richard Brautigan
Raymond Chandler in general
"Real Love" by Beach House
"Feather" by Little Dragon
past relationships (danger, careful)

Monday, April 5, 2010

Did you ever get sad on your bed late at night crying, listening to Either/Or?





CM: Writing songs is like walking in the woods and then a bear jumps out and attacks you.

LATER:


NJ: There seems to be a lot going on in the song "Raytrancer".

CM: There were a lot of bears that day.


April 3, 2010 Interview with Chad Matheny of Emperor X

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Saturday, March 27, 2010





"Everything's interesting. I don't think I've been bored in 50 years. I've forgotten what it was like."
-Cormac McCarthy

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Six words, again.



"When you're lost, you aren't lost."
-Professor Nakell about thirty minutes ago.

"I didn't mean to be mean."
-Issac Brock in "Here It Comes"

"I keep losing teeth in dreams."
-the first thing I thought when I drank coffee this morning.





Sunday, March 21, 2010

The End of the Story

She thought, "There is nothing I can do about




Friday, March 19, 2010

Pitter Patter

"What is the worst thing that's ever happened to me?

I thought I knew someone. I got really close to someone, one person in particular, to get to know them. I think we kind of all want that. Because it’s hard to be a human, it’s hard to be a human being and if someone kind of acknowledges this by trying to get to know us...it makes it a little easier.

You get close to someone, closer and closer, so you can see everything. The way they move, the things they say, how they think, but then they say something you never thought they’d say, or move in a way you didn’t think they were capable of, and you realize you’re too close. They’re blurry. Out of focus, and you don’t really know them at all. And if you don’t know them, then they certainly don’t know you. Because you’re too close and blurry.

I think that's why people close their eyes when they kiss...the other person is too close and they can’t focus on what is really in front of them. So, we close our eyes to pretend it’s okay.

I don’t know. I guess that is the worst thing that has ever happened to me...and it happens all the time."

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Shit.

Is it this?
It is this.
Is it?
It is.
This?
This.
Is this it?
This is it.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Slumped bodies half-filled the seats in the audience. Two men exchange lines near a park bench on stage, one named Peter, the other named Jerry. Peter is in a suit and carries a book, probably A Tale of Two Cities or something else by Dickens, while Jerry is clumsily dressed and hides a knife. The two men talk while the voyeurs watch, though they begin to lose interest. As Jerry pleads, “It's just that if you can't deal with people, you have to make a start somewhere. WITH ANIMALS! Don't you see? A person has to have some way of dealing with SOMETHING. If not with people ... SOMETHING!” a man in the third row yawns.

And perhaps the audience is too old, or they simply don’t care about Peter and Jerry, but two young people in the last row of the tiny black box theatre watch without ever looking away. The boy leans forward, taking deep breaths. The girl grips her armrest until her fingers hurt and go numb. Finally, the men raise their voices at one another, waking up a woman in the fourth row. They struggle over the knife before Peter runs off stage and Jerry bleeds to death on the park bench. As the grandmas and the grandpas stand to applaud, the boy doesn’t move and the girl wipes her eyes with her sleeves.


The car speeds down neighborhood streets, taking wide turns, while they rapidly talk about the two men, one with the book and one with the knife. They try to quote them, recounting the story of the dog, the poisoned hamburger, the parakeets making dinner, and the cats setting the table. When they get home they go to their room to kiss and turn off the lights and take their clothes off and to get underneath the covers. After they stare off into the darkness of the room, neither saying anything. Eventually she turns away and when he tries to put his arm around her she says “Please don’t touch me.”

"Read all the Faulkner you can get your hands on, and then read all the Hemingway to clean the Faulkner out of your system."
-John Gardner's advice to Raymond Carver on what to read.



"That was the responsibility that went with being human [...] the story behind each word must be told so there could be no mistake in the meaning of what had been said; and this demanded great patience and love."
-from
Leslie Marmon Silko's Ceremony.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Six words



"
For sale: baby shoes, never worn."
-Ernest Hemingway's six word short story.

"Mother deceased. Funeral tomorrow. Faithfully yours."

-Telegram in the opening paragraph of The Stranger by Albert Camus.

"Bob Mapplethorpe, potential get-away driver: go!"


-Dignan from Wes Anderson's Bottle Rocket.







Sunday, March 14, 2010

The Untitled Film Project



"I'm trying to get this right."